Jim Mize

Knee-slappers from the man praised as an entertaining combination of Marlin Perkins and Lewis Grizzard

6 x 9, 140 pages
cloth, ISBN 1-57003-049-9, $18.95t

ABOUT THE BOOK

According to Jim Mize, nature has no mercy—just a sense of humor—and in this hilarious romp through the woods, he waxes comic about carnivorous plants, insects that make people nervous, and birds with bad names. He points out, for instance, that all plants are edible. It's just that some of them will kill you.

Jim tells parents how to referee while paddling a boat, raise kids that people will like, and survive two hobbies no child can resist—rock collecting and entomology. He makes hunters and anglers chuckle as he ponders the purpose of carp ("fish so ugly they have to spawn in muddy water"), the perplexities of orienteering ("Getting lost has never been much of a problem for me; the problem is getting found.") and the procedure for getting crappie to bite at night ("Lay your rod down, hold a cup of scalding coffee in one hand and a floppy sandwich in the other, and, if possible, try to balance the open thermos on one leg.").

Jim also answers such age-old questions as to why women fish better than men and why people give homes to shoe-chewing puppies. His amusing insights are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in renewed appreciation of the great outdoors.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jim Mize writes outdoor humor for three newspaper columns and several magazines, and in the last five years, he has received more than twenty awards from state, regional, and national outdoor writing associations. Jim grew up in Bassett, Virginia, and now lives in Greenville, South Carolina.

EXCERPT

"A skill helpful in gnat fishing is the ability to talk with your mouth closed, or at least through clenched teeth.... Talking through clenched teeth filters out explorers of the gnat world and looks macho besides. For instance, you can tell by the way he talks that Clint Eastwood has been gnat fishing."

"Tips for reducing your chances of a bad bee encounter:
For starters, never impersonate a large flower.
Never substitute honey for suntan lotion.
Always remember, watermelon seeds do not buzz.
Never, never let anyone convince you that piñatas come in the shape of hornets's nests!"